The Love of The Lion
by Jade Green Eyes
Summary: Rinoa betrays Squall. Can he forgive her for what she has done? Squall finds some small comfort in the ever cheerful and supportive Selphie, whose rocky relationship with Irvine spirals downward. Sexual content and language. Please read and review. Gentle
1. Pondering and a Mistake

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or locations they all belong to Squaresoft.

**Note**: This is the revised edition of this chapter, so there will be a few small differences, but hopefully this is easier to read. Enjoy and please review!

**Pondering and a Mistake**

Rinoa strolled along the 2F hallway, heading towards the elevator. She took the elevator up to 3F and looked about.

"Hey, Cid! Have you seen Squall anywhere?"

The friendly head of Cid popped out from behind a small desk.

"Nope, sorry Rinoa, you might want to check the Training center or the Dorms though!"

"Thanks sir!" Rinoa yelled as she turned for the door.

Rinoa urgently needed to talk to Squall about their relationship. She wanted something more, and finally she'd gotten up the courage to talk to him. If she didn't find him soon, her resolve would be gone before she knew it. She ran around the Garden for awhile, finally stopping at the Courtyard. _Hmm....not in the dorms...not in the training center, not anywhere else...he must be here. _She walked inside and looked around. Squall was there, sitting on the stage and staring out the window. Rinoa sneaked up right behind him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, cutie!" she screamed.

Squall jumped, then turned around with anger that turned to surprise when he saw Rinoa's face.

"Oh..." he said. "Rinoa, it's you. Look, I've been wanting to talk to you, but I can't right now, ok?"

Rinoa put on her pouting face.

"Aw, come on Squall, you're sitting here doing nothing, and you don't have time for me?"

Squall gave her a light hug and replied, "I'm doing more than I look like. I've got to plan something top secret."

Rinoa leaned on his shoulder and giggled. "Oooooh, what is it?"

Squall looked back at her with a fake annoyed expression. He spoke in an innocent, calm voice. "I told you Rin, it's top secret. Please leave me alone."

"Squall! I order you to tell me!" Rinoa said, faking an authoritave voice.

Squall turned to her and raised and eyebrow. "You think you can order me around?"

Rinoa looked at the ground and sheepishly said "Well, umm...yeah, I do! You're my boyfriend aren't you?"

Squall looked at her with a sad face. _I want to be something more, _he thought silently. He met her sparkling gaze, and felt the resolve within him weaken. He put on his poker face and turned back to the window.

"Please just go Rinoa. I'm too busy for you right now."

Rinoa stared at him silently. As she turned to leave, she thought to herself about what he had said. _Its top secret, leave me alone, I'm busy_. Words silently played over in her head. _Please just go Rinoa. I'm too busy for you. I'm too busy for you_. She turned and walked away. She thought to herself..._Does that mean more than I think it does....he looked so sad when I called him my boyfriend...he's too busy for me...that cold poker face. He's never been too busy for me_! She began to feel tears welling up in her eyes. _So he's lost interest...he doesn't love me anymore....or did he ever_?

She ran to her room and sat on her bed, letting tears fall freely. She stood up and turned around, looking at her bed. The bed she had made love to Squall in. Had he ever really cared? She needed to get away from it. She dried her tears as much as possible then left her room and began to walk around the Garden, looking for a place that wouldn't spark a memory of Squall.

There was no such place. Frustrated, she ran up to the 2F deck and let the tears flow again.

"Why Squall?!" she shouted. "Why?! Did you ever really love me??"

She sat down and began to sob. She didn't even notice the person who came up behind her until she felt their firm hand on her shoulder. Rinoa jumped up and turned.

She gasped. "...Seifer? What are you doing here?"

Seifer smirked. "Well, that's a nice way to greet an old friend. Oh, and don't worry, I've been given probation. I didn't break out of jail or anything."

Rinoa smiled. Suddenly, she ran into his arms and gave him a big hug and, in between her sobs, he was able to distinguish only a few words.

"Oh Seifer, he doesn't love me anymore!"

Seifer pushed her away and looked her square in the face.

"What? Who?" He wore a totally puzzled expression.

"Squall!" She screeched. "Who else?!"

Seifer looked at her with a slightly amused expression.

"You're kiddin', right? Come on, the guy saves you from being locked in a seal forever, rescues you from being controlled by an evil sorceress from the future, and he doesn't love you? I mean, I hate to stick up for the guy... but really. What happened?"

Rinoa sat down and began to regale Seifer with all of her personal thoughts and fears and emotions. When she was through, Seifer looked at her, and with a slight smile said,

"Y'know Rin, I think you're overreacting a bit."

Rinoa sighed and said with a smile "This reminds me of old times, you know, that summer before Ultimecia?"

Seifer smiled back.

Rinoa scooted over and plopped herself in Seifer's lap, wrapping her arms around the strong blonde's neck. He looked surprised, but sort of pleased.

"I kinda miss that summer." Rinoa said.

Seifer smiled and stroked some hair out of her eyes. Rinoa leaned up and began to kiss Seifer, and she ran her hands over his muscled chest. She drew back to see Seifer at first wearing a surprised look, which turned into his regular mischievous grin. He pulled her head towards him and engaged her in a deeper kiss. He stopped. Rinoa looked up at him questioningly.

"What's wrong?" she asked, speaking as sweetly as she could.

"I can't do this, I'm with Quistis." He turned and looked away.

Rinoa stroked his muscled chest.

"Oh yes you can."

She pulled his head back and kissed him deeper, wrapping her legs around him and pulling the unwilling man closer.


	2. The Revealed Mistake

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or locations they all belong to Squaresoft.

**Note**: This is the MEGA-REVISED edition of this chapter, so there will be a BUNCH of differences, so hopefully this is better and makes more sense. Enjoy and please review!

**The Revealed Mistake**

Squall turned as Rinoa walked away. She was walking stiffly, but Squall didn't notice. He watched her beautiful dark hair as she walked, swaying slightly back and forth like liquid with her steps. The yellow streaks had faded with time and were only barely visible. Rinoa hadn't bothered to re-dye them. Squall didn't care - she was beautiful no matter what. He sighed and turned his face to the window.

He fingered the small box in his pocket, which contained a gold ring inset with a large diamond shaped like Griever. He had needed to save five mission's worth of salary to have it to be custom made. He sighed and left it there in his pocket.

"Chicken" he muttered under his breath.

He was trying to work up the courage to ask Rinoa his question. He felt a slight tap on his shoulder. He turned around expecting to see Rinoa, and instead saw Selphie.

She smiled. "What'cha up to, Squall?" she said nonchalantly.

She sidled up to him and whispered in his ear.

"So, did you do it yet?"

Squall hung his head. "Nope," he said. "I wussed out."

Selphie shook her head sympathetically.

"C'mon, Squall, you gotta ask her sooner or later! Might as well make it sooner."

Squall sighed.

"I know that I'm being a wuss, but I've never done this sort of thing before, y'know?"

Selphie giggled.

"Well, of course you haven't, you're only 19!"

Squall looked even more miserable.

"Aw... c'mon Squall, once you make up your mind to do it, it won't be as hard. After all, who else is there that you could give a diamond Griever to that would possibly understand its significance?"

Squall shook his head getting up. He finally smiled at her.

"I suppose you're right," he sighed. "No use putting it off."

Selphie smiled.

"That's more like it! Now go get that girl!"

Squall walked off, and Selphie watched him happily. As he walked away, he heard Selphie softly singing, and turned around to find her doing a little dance.

"Squall's gettin maaaaarried, Squall's getting maaaaarried."

Squall laughed. "Come on Selph, I have to ASK her first!"

Selphie giggled.

"Well get on with it then! You can't marry her if she doesn't know!" She looked at his unconfident face, and became suddenly serious. "Alright Squall, you can do this, okay?"

Squall nodded and turned towards the door.

"Good luck!" Selphie called after him.

--

Squall walked around the Garden, looking for Rinoa. He stopped by the Cafeteria. Zell was sitting happily devouring a hot dog.

"Hey, Zell. Have you seen Rinoa around?"

Zell shook his head, his mouth too full to speak. He swallowed. Squall looked a bit uneasy to him.

"Why? Trouble?" Zell asked.

Squall shifted unhappily. Finally, he said with a slight smile, "Trouble for me, but not for her." He fingered the box in his pocket.

Zell noticed Squall's hand moving in his pocket. His eyes widened.

"So you're actually gonna do it?!?!? Oh wow, that's great, I never thought you would, well, I won't keep you, go find her!"

Zell winked, and Squall shook his head, walking out of the cafeteria.

--

He checked all over 1F, stopping last at the Library. Irvine was there, talking to a pretty girl with long hair blonde hair named Lila. Squall was about to ask Irvine if he had seen Rinoa, but thought better of it. He looked around, and not seeing Rinoa, began to leave. Suddenly he heard Irvine's voice behind him.

"Hey Squall! You lookin for Rinoa?"

Squall jumped nervously and stared at Irvine.

"Whoa" Irvine laughed. "I guess that's a yes. Well, she was in here just a second ago. Didn't see where she went though."

He noticed Squall's hand moving in his pocket and looked up with a sly grin. "Ah, so you're finally goin for it? Good luck cowboy!" Then Irvine turned back to Lila.

Just as Squall got outside the Library, Selphie bumped into him, just like she had when they first met.

"Whoops" Selphie said. "Hey, have you seen Irvine? That boy is so hard to keep under tabs, and I can't stop him from flirting with those other girls if I'm not around. Urg!!...That stupid.....wonderful ladies' man."

Squall smiled a bit at that. "He's inside there talking to Lila." he said, pointing to the Library door.

"AARRG!!! Not _that_ girl again!"

Selphie rushed inside without another word.

--

Peering around a corner, Selphie saw Irvine. He had his arms wrapped around Lila, bending down to give her a peck on the cheek. He took Lila's arm and began to walk her out of the Library. Selphie stood in front of the door, and Irvine looked up just in time to get slapped in the face.

"IRVINE KINNEAS!" she bellowed.

"I AM TIRED OF THIS! GET YOURSELF A NEW GIRLFRIEND! I OBVIOUSLY WASN'T ENOUGH, YOU BASTARD!!!"

She stormed off without noticing Irvine's horrified face, or the shock of the people around her. Once outside of the Library, she ran to her dorms and plopped herself on the bed.

"That.... that bastard" she muttered.

She lay down and began to cry into her pillow, like she had countless times before. Irvine had finally done too much, and Selphie had finally snapped. She couldn't take it. It had to end.

She looked up into the mirror across from her bed. Her hair was rumpled, and her face was sad, but the tears had stopped. There was a certain lightness in her heart. That was it. It was over. And she didn't feel terrible?

"I don't.... care? But..... HA HA! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! WHEEEE!!!"

She jumped out of her bed and ran all the way around 1F 4 times. Finally, she stopped and sat down where Squall had been sitting in the Courtyard.

'_This is such a nice day'_ she thought to herself_. 'Me finally getting over Cowboy, Squall's almost definitely getting married, I actually got a hotdog in the line today...this is definitely a good day'._ She smiled to herself and waited for Squall to return.

--

Squall hadn't found her on 1F, so she had to be on 2F. He checked all the classrooms, but no one had seen her. He sat down next to Quistis' room and pondered.

_Where could she be?_ he thought to himself. Suddenly it struck him.

"Of course!" he shouted to no one in particular.

He raced towards the 2F deck, skidding to a stop once he got there, nearly smashing into the door. He sank down to the floor, his feet splayed out, and his back against the wall.

'_So I'm finally gonna do it. This is it.'_ He was about to get up, when he heard voices out on the deck.

He heard Rinoa's beautiful voice saying, "What's wrong?"

Squall pressed his ear to the small crack between the door and the ground.

"I can't do this, I'm with Quistis."

Squall nearly jumped, and his body became tense. It was Seifer's voice.

Thoughts ran through his head. _Can't do what because he's with Quistis? What's going on?! _He didn't have time to think, because the conversation continued.

"Oh yes you can."

Rinoa's voice again... but he knew that voice... that was her special voice... for when...

Squall horrified, could not take it any longer, and threw the door open, finding Seifer sitting with his back to the door, with Rinoa in his lap. She reaching up Seifer's shirt. Seifer looked like he was resisting, but Rinoa was apparently doing too much for him, and he finally gave up and put his arms around her, letting his hands reach down her back. Squall watched, horrified. He let out a scream of anguish, and when Rinoa looked up with a surprised face, the last thing she saw was Squall's back running out the door.

Note: Okay! Well, gee, wasn't that fun! Well, Anyways, the next chapter will be up soon!


	3. Distraught Actions

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or locations they all belong to Squaresoft.

**Note**: Thanks to all who reviewed especially Vick330(whose reviews were actually HELPFUL), and for those who didn't, well, REVIEW DANG YOU! This is the MEGA-revised edition of this chapter, so there will be MANY differences, but hopefully this is better. Enjoy and PLEASE review!

**Distraught Actions**

Rinoa watched him as Squall walked out the door. She had frozen in the middle of what she was doing, and her face construed only a mixture of grief and horror. She only faintly heard and understood Seifer saying.

"Rinoa, this was a mistake, you know that I love Quistis. The feelings that I used to have for you are long gone. I'm sorry I let myself do this."

He paused.

"Look, everyone knows that Squall loves you. Maybe you should realize that before he does anything too outrageous because of you."

Seifer then lifted her stiff body off of him and placed it gently on the ground. He stood up and walked away. Rinoa sat there, alone and torn. What had she done? How could she have done such a thing!!??? She slapped herself as hard as she could. Her cheek stung, but she deserved more. How could she have ever believed that Squall didn't love her? He was just busy with something, and she had enlarged it to this! She slapped herself again. Her cheek burned with pain. She could not feel it though, for the pain in her chest burned too hot.

Her heart was not broken in two, but torn into a million flimsy shreds.

She sat there for awhile, unable to make herself move. The tears rolled freely down her face.

--

Seifer quickly went through the halls looking for Quistis. He would tell her himself what he had done, before anyone else found out. He found her helping a student in the Library.

He bent over her shoulder and whispered in a low voice.

"Quistis, I need a word with you, now."

Quistis looked up, about to tell him off, but when she saw the pained look on his face, she became puzzled, quickly apologized to the student and then stood up.

He lead her to her dorm and than sat her down on the bed. He sat next to her. He looked down at the floor for a few minutes, contemplating on how he was supposed to tell her. After a prolonged silence, she finally asked.

"Seifer, What's going on?"

He looked up at her. She gasped. Tears were rolling down his face, his eyes filled with hopelessness and sadness. She had never seen him cry before. She drew him into a hug, but he shoved her back.

"I don't deserve you!" he said through his sobbing. Quistis shook his shoulders.

"Get a grip on yourself Seifer!"

He looked up at her. "Quistis, I....... I kissed Rinoa again.... not just kissed her.... I.... I can't even say it.....I...I have no good excuse...I'm just...so...sorry....and I wanted you to hear it from me, and not from someone else...."

He put his head in his hands.

Quistis stared at him, ashen faced.

Suddenly, out of instinct, she put her arms around him.

"It's okay Seifer. It doesn't matter what you did. I've never seen you in such a state before. You repent your actions, and that is all that matters to me."

Seifer looked up at her disbelievingly.

"You can't forgive me.... I don't deserve it."

Quistis managed a thin smile.

"Well," she said, "Deserve it or not, I forgive you." Seifer turned to her and they embraced.

--

Squall ran from the deck. He kept running and running. He didn't even notice as his steps took him through Balamb and back to Garden. He didn't notice as he boarded Ragnarok. He didn't even notice the monsters he was killing as he ran through Centra. Finally he found himself standing on top of a Trabian mountain, considering jumping and rolling down to his death. Everywhere he had gone, everything had died. He pulled the diamond Griever out of his pocket and considered it a moment.

He held his arm up as though to throw the ring, but something stopped him, and he put it back in his pocket.

--

Numbly, he flew back to Balamb. As he walked into Balamb Garden, the little clumps of people socializing recoiled from his vibe of despair, which was almost tangible. He went to his dormitory and pulled a thin coil of rope out of the bottom drawer of his desk. After knotting it in a certain way, he attached it to the rack in his closet and then sat on his bed and stared at it.

Just when he was about to stand up, Selphie burst into the room crying.

"Oh Squall! I heard, oh that's terrible, oh no, you must feel awful!"

He turned to her, and she ran to him and gave him a big hug, trying her best to comfort him. She looked over his shoulder as she did, and past him into the closet.

She gasped and released her embrace. Still staring at the closet, she squeaked out the words.

"Oh, no.....Squall, you wouldn't!"

He looked down at her seriously. She kept staring wide-eyed, at the noose hanging from the rack.

Note: Oh my gosh!!! No Squall, don't do it! What will happen? You'll just have to wait and see! -evil grin-


	4. Choices

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or locations they all belong to Squaresoft.

**Note**: This is the MEGA-revised edition of this chapter, so there will be a few MORE small differences, but hopefully this is easier to read. Enjoy and please review!

**Choices**

Rinoa ran to her dormitory and slumped to the floor. She sat and cried for a few minutes. She ripped off her clothing and threw herself in the shower, turning on only the hot water. She lay there, letting it burn her back and char her skin. She waited, hoping that the physical pain would push the thoughts from her head. She let the water consume her, and the heat and steam coaxed her into a restless sleep in the bathtub, the hot water now pouring over her face.

--

Selphie clutched Squall and buried her face in his shoulder.

"Oh Squall, you wouldn't, would you? It'll be okay! It was a mistake and I'm sure Rinoa feels the same way you do!"

Squall stiffened. Suddenly, he threw Selphie from him

"HOW CAN SHE!?" he roared.

"SHE WAS THE ONE LAUGHING AND INSTIGATING THE WHOLE THING!"

Squall collapsed on the bed. Selphie timidly looked at her feet, and swayed a bit as she spoke.

"But she didn't know you were about to ask her to marry you Squall!" She paused for a moment. "And she still doesn't know"

There was a long pause, and neither figure moved. Finally he replied.

"Why does that change anything? She doesn't want me. She wants Seifer. Let her have him!"

Selphie grabbed his hands and pulled him up, making him look her in the face.

"How can you say that!" she cried. "You love her! Don't let this one thing get in the way!"

Squall stared at her silently, almost desperately. His eyes were empty and hollow.

"What?" she asked nervously.

He shook himself and replied in a shaky voice.

"No. You're right Selphie...I'll go find her. I need to talk to her."

Squall ran up to the 2F deck. He didn't find her, and so he went around asking people if they'd seen her. He got several replies telling him that she had been seen running towards the dormitories looking distraught. He headed to her dorm and knocked on the door. There was no answer, so he slowly opened the door and went inside. He heard the shower running, and was about to leave, when something inside told him to turn around and find her.

He pushed open the bathroom door, but he could barely see anything because of some steam. He felt his way to the tub and nearly screamed. Rinoa was lying in the tub, naked, eyes closed, and her skin was bleeding practically everywhere. He touched her face, only to find the scalding hot water was being sprayed on it from the shower head.

Her skin was burning clean off.

He wrapped her in a towel and carried her out of her room, running towards the infirmary, feeling the blood soak through the fabric and onto his hands.

--

Selphie sat in Squall's dorm staring at the noose. She hoped Squall had found Rinoa all right. They would need to talk for a long time.

_I wonder how Rinoa's feeling about all this? There must have been something that made her do it..._

Her body shook. _Rinoa did that terrible thing to him. How could he still love her?_

"_It's true love!" _a voice inside said.

_He'll always love her... she said to herself. But why did she care? _

She shook her head and chased those thoughts from her mind; she walked over and began to undo the noose.

Note: Oooh! And the plot thickens....well, tell me what you think people!! Okay, so Chapter 5 will NOT be up soon, (or at least I can't promise that it will be) but please keep checking back!


	5. Confusion

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or locations they all belong to Squaresoft.

**Note**: FINALLY!! Here's Chapter 5 everyone! Enjoy and please review!

**Confusion**

Squall watched Diane Kadowaki tend to Rinoa's burns. She gently rubbed some sort of paste over the wounds and then wrapped them in cotton wool.

"How is she Diane?" he queried.

"She'll be fine," Dr. Kadowaki replied without looking up. "There was some blood loss, but we have enough here in reserve to replenish most of it. Her skin will heal in time."

Squall nodded, even though he knew Diane couldn't see him with her back turned to him. He stood up and looked at Rinoa for a moment, and the walked out of the Infirmary. He headed towards his dorm. He needed a good rest and time to think.

--

Selphie sat in Squall's dorm. _He'll be back sometime...he is human...he does sleep..._ Besides, she didn't have the key to his room, and didn't want to leave the door unlocked and the room empty.

She had the rope still in her hands. She had undone the noose, but still, the rope seemed to be threatening, as though if she let it go it would slither off and hurt someone. She sighed and rolled it up tightly, stuffing it in the bottom drawer of Squall's desk. There was a keyhole, but she didn't see a key for it anywhere. As she scanned the room, she saw a loop of keys that looked very unused sitting on top of Squall's dresser. She couldn't reach them, so she grabbed a chair and stood on it. She examined the keys for a moment, and then began trying each one in the drawer's lock until she heard the faint click of a bolt going into place.

--

Squall was halfway to his dorm when he stopped. Selphie. She was probably still in his dorm. He changed direction and headed to the Training Center. No one would be there, and he didn't want to see anyone right now. Not anybody. Not even cheerful little Selphie. He felt a little guilty, letting her sit there instead of telling her she didn't have to wait, but knowing Selphie, she would probably refuse to leave until she had at least tried to comfort him and talk about it.

He didn't want to talk to anybody.

.

Which was extremely unfortunate for Headmaster Cid.

.

"Hey, Squall! Just the man I was looking for!"

Squall glared at him, but Cid took no notice and blustered on.

"I've been meaning to talk to you, old boy, but I simply have been immensely busy! So, how are you?"

Squall didn't answer but Cid didn't seem to notice.

"I was wondering, Squall, you seem like a very responsible character, and I am getting on in age, and Edea wants me to spend more time with her and her kids, you know how women can be..."

"Sir," Squall interrupted. He felt he could take no more and might crack any second. "What do you want, sir?"

"Oh, oh yes, of course!" Cid turned red. "I was wondering, Squall, could you take over as Headmaster? You seem like quite a good person to lead this Garden, you know, everyone looks up to you and all!"

Squall stared at him. "More responsibility...that's the last thing I need right now," he mused.

Then, Squall simply turned and ran towards the Training Center.

Cid looked puzzled. He sighed.

"Strange fellow, that Squall...might as well go see what Diane's up to..."

Note: phew! Well, I finally got Chapter 5 up!! Oh, so know Cid's gonna know what's going on! Will this have any effect whatsoever on the plot? I dunno.


	6. Exhaustion

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or locations they all belong to Squaresoft.

**Note**: FINALLY! Okay, so it hasn't been THAT long, but still, I felt the need to write some more and school is now taking all my precious time. By the way, if you'd like to be emailed when I post a new chapter, just review and give me your email! Here's Chapter 6 everyone! Enjoy and please review!

**Exhaustion**

Squall killed a few Grats and even battled with a T-Rexaur for a bit before exhaustion kicked in and he fled from the Training Center, too tired to finish the battle. He checked his watch. It read 2:47 in the morning. He sighed. _Selphie's probably gone by now... _he thought to himself. He headed to his room to take a long shower and think things over. He opened the door and without looking threw his jacket onto his bed. He heard a muffled cry. Selphie was still there.

--

Selphie untangled herself from the jacket and stared up at Squall.

"Sorry Selph...didn't see you there. Thought you had gone already," he muttered.

"It's okay," she sighed. "Look Squall, I know that you don't want to talk about it..."

"But you want me to anyway? You think it will make me feel better!?" Squall interrupted hotly.

She looked up at him. "I know you don't want to talk." She paused and sighed. "So don't."

Squall looked down at her with an unreadable expression on his face. He sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry Selphie. I shouldn't have yelled like that. This isn't your fault," he replied with a sigh. "That's why I don't want you involved. Please leave. I need rest."

"I don't have to be involved Squall," she answered quietly. "I just want to know that you won't hurt yourself. That's why I'm taking this with me." She held up the ring of keys.

"My desk keys?" he asked, confused and not thinking straight.

"All your weapons, including ropes and pocketknives are in there." She stood and turned to go. She hesitated, and picked his gunblade up from by the door. "This won't fit in the desk. It comes with me."

Squall looked like he was about to argue, but Selphie felt and looked more sincere than she ever had before. He sighed, and she walked out the door.

--

Squall watched Selphie leave, his keys and gunblade in tow. He sighed and closed the door after a few minutes of staring at the floor. He climbed into the shower, letting the hot water run over his skin and clean away the grime of the day. Finally, he turned the handles and walked out into the steam of the bathroom. His reflection was blurred in the mirror; tiny droplets had come to rest all over it's surface. Sighing heavily, he climbed into bed. After staring at the ceiling for a while, he fell into a weary and restless sleep.

Note: phew! Okay, so there's Chapter 6. I felt the impending need to write all week but just haven't had the time; I guess I didn't want to leave Selphie waiting all week. :) PLEASE review and tell me what you think!


	7. In the Meantime

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or locations they all belong to Squaresoft.

**Note**: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I finally got a new chapter up!!!!!!!!!! It's been forever I know, I'm sorry!! Get reading and REVIEW like a good little reader!

**Additional Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the cereals named in this chapter :)

**In the Meantime**

Rinoa woke to find herself in the Infirmary with Dr. Kadowaki's face above her. As she looked about, she heard Dr. Kadowaki's soothing voice telling her to stay put and rest. Rinoa tried to sit up, but the doctor's firm hand pushed her back down, and she desisted and lay still, turning yesterday's events over in her head.

_All this pain I've caused.... to him, to myself.... I don't deserve to exist...._

_I'm a fool...to think he would ever not love me simply because he has complicated things that busy him._

_And to go to Seifer...of all people, I chose to betray him with his archenemy.... what kind of wretch am I?_

Rinoa turned on her side to look at Dr. Kadowaki, whose back was turned to her. The doctor was looking at her computer. A medical analysis of Rinoa was displayed on the screen.

Frontal torso and legs - medium burns

Face - deep burns

Loss of skin and blood

Has been treated with Tricloserene-597, most burns respond well, with no apparent allergy.

Continual treatment with Tricloserene-597 should heal burns totally.

Rinoa sighed. Burns. The analysis seemed to have overlooked the deepest burns on her soul.

--

Selphie strolled into the Cafeteria trying to act normal. Nobody seemed to notice anything was different about her. She grabbed a box of cereal and a mini-carton of milk and took a seat. Frosted Flakes.... too much sugar for her. She'd be way too hyper to deal with.

Perfect.

Suddenly, Zell plopped down right across from her.

"Hey Selph. You don't look so good. You ok?"

His eyes flicked down to her bowl. His eyes widened and he backed away from the table

"Oh, no you don't Selphie; you know how you are after a bowl of those!"

Selphie looked up at him with a half smile, but said nothing.

Zell reached and moved the bowl away from her.

"What do you say we switch breakfasts, and then we can talk about what's bothering you?

Selphie wrinkled her nose.

"You have hotdogs for breakfast!! No way am I switching!"

Zell smiled and flushed red, but then pointed to his tray. An innocent bowl of Cheerios sat there, ready to be eaten.

"I decided to eat a healthy meal for a change."

He pushed the bowl of Cheerios over to her, and grabbed the Frosted Flakes before Selphie could protest. Selphie smiled, and began to talk.

"Well, I'm.... worried about Squall."

"Tch...aren't we all? C'mon Selph, he's been through worse!"

"But...Zell, there's something that not everyone knows..."

Zell studied her face for a moment. She looked solemn and scared.

"Selphie, if he did something to you, I swear I'll-"

"No!!! It's nothing like that!" Selphie practically yelped. She looked around the cafeteria. Only a few people seemed to have noticed her outburst.

"No..." she continued. "He... he made a noose... and hung it up, as though he was going to... going to hang himself!"

Zell's face became grave. "Did you get rid of the rope?"

"Of course!... I locked up his weapons, and his gunblade is in my room... Oh, Zell, what are we going to do?"

Selphie promptly proceeded to burst into tears. Zell looked around and realized how much attention they were getting. He tried to get her out of her seat, but when she simply plopped back down into it, he had no choice but to pick her up right out of the chair and carry her princess-style. He took her to her dorm and plopped her on the bed.

"Look, Selphie, you did the right thing, locking his stuff away. It's okay. Don't worry. I'm going to go talk to him."

With that, Zell walked out of her dorm and shut the door behind him.

Note: Okay, so I finally had a good idea of what I was doing, but suddenly I threw Zell in and my ideas have all changed. Oh well. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!


	8. Talking Helps

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or locations - they all belong to Squaresoft as usual.

**Note**: -tentatively posts chapter- -glances around for people with tomatoes-

I'M SORRY!!!! It's been...how long?....... At least 8 months...probably more...I'M SORRY!!! I LOVE YOU!!! PLEASE READ! -gets pelted with tomatoes-

**Talking Helps**

Zell walked through the Dormitory halls greeting people as nonchalantly as possible as he made his way toward Squall's door. As he went, a slightly disheveled Irvine hailed him.

"Heya Zell...ahh don't mind the hair, I just woke up. You seen Selphie anywhere?"

Zell looked at him concerned. "Yeah, I know where she is.... why? This is probably not a good time."

I rvine made a goofy smile. "Aww is she in mourning over that scene she made yesterday? Little cutie..."

Zell frowned. "What scene?"

Irvine's face grew a bit more solemn. "Haven't ya heard? She blew up at me and told me it was over...bet she's regrettin' it and misses her Irvine..."

Zell shrugged. "I hadn't heard anything about that. That's not why this isn't a good time though.... Trust me man, leave her alone for a bit."

Irvine slumped. "Aww c'mon...at least tell me where she is? I can talk to her later...."

Zell sighed. "Fine...she's in her dorm."

Irvine's posture instantly straightened and a smile crossed his face. "Thanks man! I'll go talk to her later!"

Zell let out a little laugh, and started to walk towards Squall's dorm. A little thought occurred to him, and he fished in his pockets, turning around.

"Hey Irvine!" he shouted to the retreating figure.

Irvine turned with a bemused look on his face. Zell tossed him the item he'd found in his pocket. Irvine caught it, and then smiled at Zell as he ran the blonde's comb through his hair.

--

Squall turned over on his bed as he heard someone enter his room. He groaned as the tattooed face was made clear in the morning light streaming through the window.

"Zell....not now...I need some sleep..."

Zell looked at him without remorse. "You slept. Now it's time to talk about what's going on."

Squall tried to give him a look of burning hatred, but Zell just stared at him expectantly. Squall groaned again and sat up, while Zell tossed him a white shirt that had been lying across his desk chair. Zell moved the chair closer to the bed and sat down, waiting as Squall finished pulling the shirt over his head. Squall let out a big sigh and looked at Zell.

"All right Zell. Let's talk. What do you want to know?"

"What happened? Tell me the whole story."

Squall told him everything, keeping his voice as monotonous as possible.

"And it's all my fault," he finished, "because I didn't show her how I felt before."

Zell was silent for a moment. "It's not your fault she was unfaithful, Squall."

Squall bent his head and said nothing.

"And I know that ring in your pocket makes this 100 times worse."

Squall let out a stifled moan and faced the wall.

"But everyone makes mistakes," Zell finished, feeling his voice start to break, "and I think if you give Rinoa a chance, she'll do everything she can to make up for her mistake."

Squall said nothing. He didn't even move. After a moment, Zell gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and left the dormitory without a word.

Note: Zell the hero! What a good friend......anyway, I know you're all very angry at me, but hopefully if I tell you that I plan to start writing the next chapter as soon as I post this one you'll throw less ripe tomatoes at me? No? Oh well.....


	9. Baby Steps

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters or locations – they all belong to Squaresoft… as usual. -sigh-

**Note**: GOOD LORD. Has it really been over a year? Over two maybe? God... I am so, so sorry. I am a big loser. Hi, remember me? That person you hate because I never post? Hopefully the - not one, but TWO - new chapters make up for it a little? Maybe a little? -looks hopeful- Ah… who am I kidding. I can't make it up to you, but enjoy anyway?

**Baby Steps**

The brunette's dark chocolate hair softly lay about her face. Wavering candlelight played across it, and it shone, glinting with golden hues. Her pale, white face glowed with reflected light. Her serene face was solemn and plain, but the dark, contemplative eyes were full of thought. She stared unblinkingly at the ceiling, breathing in and out in a smooth, controlled rhythm. A cool, evening breeze sauntered in through the open window, and she stirred a bit, pulling the green utility hospital blanket up around her neck.

Squall watched silently as the slim figure turned on her side and faced the blank wall opposite him. Her perfect contour was accented by the blanket that draped around her, yet he felt no desire to reach out and touch her. He stood there, unmoving in the shadows. He didn't know how long. A minute or an hour, it made no difference. Thoughts whirled inside his head, and yet he was calm, both inside and out. He felt no pain, no happiness, but a kind of placid indifference, which he both understood and was utterly confused by.

He didn't know what to think anymore. Nothing seemed real… nothing seemed to make sense. Three days ago he would never have expected to see Rinoa like he had seen her on the 2F deck. Three days ago he would never have expected to carry her bloody, naked body from the shower to the infirmary. Three days ago, he had never knotted a noose. But everything had changed.

He wasn't angry with her. He wasn't angry with himself. Right then, he wasn't _anything_.

Rinoa shifted, turning to face him and let out a gasp. Her body flinched and her eyes widened, catching sight of him.

"Jesus, Squall, how long have you been there?"

"Not long," he replied.

He had no idea if that was true, but it was irrelevant. For a second, this basic exchange between them made it seem as if nothing had happened at all, as if the past three days didn't exist. For a second, it was just him and Rin, talking. But the second passed, and the pain rushed forward into Squall's thoughts as Rinoa struggled to sit up. When she finally sat upright, Squall was surprised at how little she was bandaged. She had gauze wrapped around her upper arms, and a small patch of gauze affixed to one cheek. The rest of her visible skin, while somewhat red and sore looking, looked almost completely normal.

Squall sighed inwardly. _Modern medicine can heal the outer burns in a day… if only the inner wounds were so easily soothed. _A shaky voice broke his thoughts.

"Squall?"

He looked up and met Rinoa's eyes. The deep browns and glints of gold in her eyes made them so beautiful, even as they were now, puffy, red, and filled with tears. Squall said nothing, and simply waited for her to continue.

"…I don't know what I can possibly say to you."

_ Nothing, _he thought inwardly, turning from her and looking stolidly out the doorway.

"I've been incredibly foolish, and I've hurt both of us. I feel like an idiot."

_ Hurt both of us?_ He didn't want to hear about her hurt right then, not while his hurts still bled slightly through the newly-formed scab of his indifference. He took a few steps towards the door.

"Wait!" she cried out, placing a cold, smooth hand on his arm.

He turned his blank stare on her, waiting. She retracted her arm, looking almost abashed.

"I just need to say one thing. You probably don't want to hear it, but I have to say it."

She paused and searched his eyes for some reaction, some feeling, some sign of recognition. She was greeted by nothing. This filled her with dread, but there was nothing for it but to continue. She took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

She turned her wide, teary eyes to the floor, and Squall, unable to find any words, left without a word. Rinoa lay back on the cot, letting the tears flow freely, the salt stinging her cheek with each drop's passing.


	10. The Choices We Make

**Disclaimer**: All usual disclaimers apply.

**Note**: Nothing really to say… I'm sorry again? On with the next! -RUNS AWAY-

**The Choices We Make**

Squall let the door of the infirmary drop behind him, and began walking at a slow pace towards his dormitory. Thoughts ran through his head, but of course, his face was a mask. Had anyone else been out walking so late, they would have seen nothing on his face to suggest the chaos within. He walked up to the railing around the pool at the center of the Garden. The water was undulating just barely; nothing more than a faint ripple passed though the clear, sparkling surface. He studied his blank visage in the waters below. It was shocking, even to him, how absolutely void of feeling or thought his face appeared as his mind raced through the events of the previous days.

The tired male took a few steps towards the nearby bench and seated himself upon it, resting his elbows on his knees and cradling his head in his hands. He thought about what Rinoa had done, what he had done, and what she had said. Everything meshed together into one massive movie reel that played over and over in his head.

After a time, he pulled the ring box out of his pocket. He still carried it around, as he had ever since he'd gotten it. He'd almost worn a thin spot in the smooth velvet, fiddling with it nervously in his pockets as he went about his daily activities. Like he had so many times before, he opened it.

Inside was the gleaming ring. The angles of the dim nightlights of the Garden shone on the great diamond, making it sparkle and glisten - a white-hot stone made of light and prismatic color. His insides fluttered a bit at the sight of it, as they did each time he saw it. A yearning within him arose, just as it always did. His brow softened, and he gazed at the ring.

_I still love her._

Griever glinted hopefully up at him; the sparkling lion somehow looked pleading. He considered it thoughtfully for a moment, and then shut the box and put it back in his jacket pocket. He stood, and headed purposefully back to his dorm.

Selphie tossed and turned, trying to force herself to sleep. The bed felt like a pile of rocks badly trying to disguise itself as a mattress, and the itchy sheets clung to her tired, sweaty limbs. Her head was full of chaotic thought, which was not helping her sleep. _Urg! I give up! _she yelled inwardly, throwing off the covers and swinging her feet over the side of the bed. She slid her feet into her bright yellow bunny slippers and stood. She grabbed the nearest sweatshirt, yanked it over her head, and headed out the door for a quick walk to clear her mind. 

Squall and Selphie nearly bumped into each other before both looked up and dodged the other at the last second. They turned back to one another, and Selphie grinned.

"Ha! So much for our amazing SeeD awareness training," she said laughingly.

For the first time in a few days, Squall smiled.

"Yeah… or you could just be very stealthy. You'd have to be, to get past my amazing SeeD awareness. Especially with such… interesting clothing choices."

Squall pointed at her, looking somewhat amused. Selphie examined herself, and saw his point. The forest green "Trabia is for Lovers!" sweatshirt, orange pajama pants, and yellow slippers didn't exactly make for the most stylish attire. She blushed, grinned, and pointed down at her slippers.

"It's not me with the stealthy skills. It's all in the bunnies."

Squall laughed aloud. Selphie felt a little leap in her heart; seeing him laugh was a great relief.

"How are you feeling?" she asked tentatively. "I mean, with everything that's happened…"

She trailed off, not wanting to bring up sore subjects. Not that she hadn't just done that. _Dolt_, she thought to herself. But, to her surprise, Squall didn't get surly or quiet.

"Better, actually. I've been doing a lot of thinking," he replied.

He stopped, apparently not intending to go on. But Selphie was struck at such a quick change in him, and had to know more.

"…Aaaaand?" she queried.

He opened his mouth, paused, and ran his fingers through his hair. The slanty, dim light shining across his prolific brown locks was quite a sight, and Selphie couldn't help but gaze at him. His strong features stood out, half-shadowed, half-outlined by the dimmed light above. Squall began to speak, and she shook herself, turning her attention back to his words.

"Well, I went to see Rinoa in the infirmary. I didn't really speak to her… but she spoke to me. She said she was sorry. I mean… sorry isn't like an amazing fix-all or anything. But…"

He trailed off, considering his words carefully.

"I believe her. I believe she's really sorry. And… and I still love her."

Selphie, for reasons she could not explain, suddenly had the funny feeling that her stomach was in her feet. She ignored it, and smiled.

"Sounds like you're gonna be okay."

He smiled back at her. She met his smile, but couldn't bear it for too long. She broke eye contact and moved past him, beginning to head out into the Garden circle.

"G'night, Squall!" she called over her shoulder.

"Goodnight!" he called back.

She took a few steps, but then heard his voice again. He'd come up behind her.

"Selphie?"

"…Yeah?"

She turned, looking searchingly at him.

"…Thanks. For everything."

And then he did something Selphie wouldn't have expected him to do in his entire life – he hugged her. She was so surprised that she didn't even hug back at first. But after just a moment's pause, she returned the hug, her insides all aflutter. His arms were so warm around her, his presence so comfortable. She melted into his embrace, and had the strangest feeling; he felt like home. And then he released her, and it was gone, like a fleeting dream that you try so hard to hold on to but can't quite grasp.

Selphie wondered what was going on with her mind. She watched Squall disappear down the dorm hall, and then started the short walk back to her own door, deciding that a walk was no longer necessary. She didn't understand why she couldn't look away from him, but couldn't bear his gaze for too long. She didn't understand why her stomach just dropped, why her insides fluttered, why she, the shameless Selphie, blushed over some orange pajama pants.

When she came to her door, she grasped the shiny metal knob, pausing before turning it. It felt so cold, so lifeless, so lonely. And the room beyond, she knew, was empty, except for a bed and some personal items. Empty, like she felt now. Selphie sighed, turned the knob, and shuffled in, closing the door behind her. She flicked on the light, and nearly screamed in shock.

Irvine grinned up at her from his recumbent position on her bed.

"Nice slippers."


End file.
